HOW TO GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP
“I can’t get to sleep. I think about the implications. Of diving in too deep and possibly the complication.”
Sleep is vastly important. Scientists still can’t figure out exactly why we need sleep, but we do know from some (horrible) experiments done on mice, that if we don’t sleep for a prolonged period of time; our memory decreases, our hair will fall out, and eventually with enough sleep deprivation, our vital organs will start to shut down and will we die.
Sleep is also important for our brain’s to be able to process traumatic events. Isn’t interesting then, that so often we find ourselves unable to sleep because these traumatic events (aka a break-up, a scary upcoming test, or a difficult day of work).
I’m one of those people who can (and have) fall asleep anywhere at any time. I’ve fallen asleep at work, during class, at church, in my Halloween costume and famously at a nightclub while leaning on a table. I don’t usually have problems falling asleep, but if I’m under a lot of stress or feeling sad, I do have problems staying asleep.
Fell asleep in my brother’s hotel lobby on Halloween
Maybe you can relate. You were sleeping peacefully, and suddenly, for no reason at all, you wake around 2:30am. All the worries and fears of the day come rushing back towards you and you find yourself combing over every little detail of every little thing that bothers you. As a result, you don’t fall back asleep for several hours then have to drag yourself out of bed the next morning.
This is what happens to me. It used to happen a lot more often, and still occasionally does. I’ve never been one to sit around and just accept the notion that “I just don’t sleep well.” What can I say? I’m a scientist by training. I want to figure out both why I’m not sleeping, and more importantly what I can do to help myself sleep well and without the help of medication, if possible.
What follows are my personal recommendations for better sleep. These recommendations are based on consults from my primary care physician and psychologist, my opinions and based on articles I’ve read. Please note however, that there are real sleep disorders out there like sleep apnea so if you consistently are not sleeping well, I first recommend talking it over with your primary care physician to make sure there’s not a physiological reason first.
All that being said, here are my recommendations for a good night’s sleep – even when you are stressed out, sad, mad or nervous.
Have comfortable sleeping arrangements
You spend approximately 1/3 of your life in bed, so it’s worth it to be comfortable. Invest in a good mattress. It seems like mattress stores are always having sales, and if you’re not too picky or grossed out, you can ask to buy the floor sample which is normally cheaper. That’s how I ended up being able to afford my Tempur-Pedic mattress on my meager resident’s salary. As a result, I love my bed and have a solid foundation to build a good night’s sleep.
Next you’ll want to make sure you have some comfortable sheets to go along with your mattress. There are a number of great sheets out there but for me, I want sheets that are both soft and breathable. This search for the perfect sheet led me to discover bamboo sheets I totally splurged on these sheets from Cariloha which feels as soft as satin but has a lot of breath-ability.
I’m still on a quest to find the right pillows. I’ve tried some bamboo ones from Amazon but didn’t really like them too much. Now I’ve been using some from Costco which are OK but I think I could do better. Any suggestions for pillows are welcome!
Have a consistent night-time routine
Ok, maybe you’re a rebel and you don’t like routines. Maybe you just want to party all night long and don’t want to have a set bedtime. Honestly, I don’t think it matters what time you go to bed, but just how you prepare to go to bed. When you have a night-time routine, you’re actually preparing your body both mentally and physically for bed. Routine is mentally soothing to most people and having a set bed-time routine tells your body that it’s time to calm down and relax.
Brush your teeth and floss. Hey, I’m a dentist, and if this wasn’t part of my night time routine, I’d be a hypocrite. But seriously, it’s important to brush before bed because you don’t produce as much saliva as you sleep. Saliva is a crucial component is helping to keep cavities at bay. Therefore, if you don’t brush your teeth before bed, you’re creating a perfect situation for cavities to grow.
Brushing my teeth with all my friends!
Also flossing. I’m probably going to write a whole blog post about it but for now, I’ll just say this. FLOSS! Get in the habit of it. Not flossing is like going Number Two and only doing one courtesy wipe. It’s gross to leave food stuck in between your teeth all night long. It rots and can lead to bad breath. Your toothbrush isn’t designed to go between teeth, so start flossing today.
Essential oils. I discovered essential oils last year and they have been so life-changing for bedtime. I use DoTerra essential oils and rub them on the bottoms of my feet and my neck before going to bed. DoTerra’s essential oils come in a few forms: a rollerball, a lotion, or in a digestible soft blend. The one I use most often for bed-time is called Serenity which is a combination of lavender, cedar wood and chamomile. Our sense of smell has a direct access line to our brains, and that’s why when you smell something, you can immediately be transported to the memory of where you associate the smell. As part of establishing a routine, when you put on the essential oils, you are allowing your sense of smell direct access to your brain which is saying, “I go to bed when I smell this smell.”
My four favorite products from DoTerra. I use the Serenity blend for every night use, Past Tense for headaches, On-guard when I feel sick, and Blue Rub when my shoulders are sore. Putting on any one of these before bed has a calming affect.
If I am particularly stressed out or worried, then I may take Melatonin for a few weeks. Melatonin is a natural sleep aid. Your pineal gland already produces melatonin and so this supplement helps your body regulate sleep without feeling groggy the next morning.
The other thing I do is to put on a fan, a sleep app, or the AC on low to have some ambient noise. I live in an apartment building with neighbors above me and I find that white noise helps soothe me, makes it easier for me to travel to places that have potential to be more noisy (I just use my sleep app).
Invest in a quality eye shade for travel, or if you just have a bright room. Our bodies are natually programmed to start waking up when the sun comes up, so if you don’t have black out curtains (which I also recommend) then get a quality eye mask. The key to this is making sure that the eye mask is built with enough room for you to open and shut your eyes with the mask on. This allows you to more fully have REM (Rapid Eye Movement) which is an essential part of your sleep cycle. You can get them on Amazon for as cheap as $6.99 but I’ve found that those ones tend to wear out quickly.
Our matching books and Tempur pedic sleeping masks!
Limit screen time in bed
Ok. You’ve put on all your essential oils, taken your melatonin and brushes and flossed your teeth. You’re ready for bed. But your habits once you get into bed are just as important as the process of getting ready for bed. So how to do you help yourself fall asleep quickly and stay asleep?
No Phones! Seriously. I know how crazy it is to say that in this day and age, but there are multiple studies that state that our phone screens keep us awake and contribute to having higher stress, anxiety and depression throughout the day! So put that phone away! Give yourself a break from social media, news articles and anything that will keep you awake.
“Ok great Tesh, so now what I am supposed to do?”
If you’re one of those people who can’t just go right to sleep, I recommend getting a good, but a little bit boring book to read. I recently just finished reading Beyonce’s biography which was interesting, but not riveting. I would read a few pages every night until I got sleepy. Or if you’re not into reading a physical book, how about listening to a podcast or book on tape? Something on the lighter side and nothing too suspenseful.
“Seriously though, Tesh, I need to look at my phone before I go to bed or who knows what could happen!!”
Ok fine. You are unwilling to not look at your phone or Ipad before bed? At least think about getting these glasses which help block UV light of cell-phones and allow your eyes to relax.
Develop a strategy for middle-of-the-night-wake-ups
If I find myself awake in the middle of the night and unable to fall back asleep because my brain has to start going over every little detail that is stressful to me, I use this breathing technique. First and foremost, it is my way of telling my brain that I am in charge. Our minds are so powerful and as the ones in charge of our minds and bodies, we have to actively work against letting our minds take us hostage. This is where I use the breathing technique. It’s really simple. I breathe in for 4 seconds, hold my breath for 7 seconds and breathe out for 8 seconds. This does two things. First: it relaxes my breathing. Second: it gives my brain a task to thing on instead of spinning out of control. I make myself do this breathing technique 10 times, and usually it helps me fall back asleep.
Sometimes what’s going on in our lives is just too overwhelming to overcome a simple breathing technique. This is when it may be time to call it quits on trying to sleep and to journal feelings. Grab a blanket and a journal and go into the living room to journal it out. It doesn’t have to be anything poetic or fancy but putting anxious thoughts on paper helps to relieve stress. This helps us harness our thoughts and sift through our emotions.
If you’re not overly anxious and the breathing techniques aren’t working, trying reading or listening to a podcast again.
Both of us fell asleep here!
Remember: Great sleep does not happen over night. In fact, I still have nights where I go through all of these steps and still don’t sleep as well as I’d like. That’s life. But it doesn’t happen too often and more often that not, if I’m not sleeping well it’s because I didn’t take my own advice and was on Instagram in bed without my super-cool UV glasses on.
The things to remember are that you are NOT helpless in the fight for good sleep! You can take control of your body and your mind.